Back To Reality

We spent the weekend out of town visiting my husband's family.  We all had a very good time!  The weather was sunny and hot, perfect for swimming.  Ladybug and Snuggle Bug both loved the pool, but Ladybug pretty much lived in the water the whole time.  They were both really comfortable in the water, which was nice and warm.  If I hadn't forgotten my camera I of course would be posting way too many photos......but what can I say - there was so much "stuff" to remember to bring that the camera completely escaped my mind until we had been on the road for about 20 minutes or so.  Oh well.  Just let me say that the Bugs looked simply adorable in their matching bathing suits, sunglasses, hats, floating around like queens in their floaties with their two teenage cousins close by..... 

Little Peanut seemed a bit under the weather with a runny nose and coughing at times, more fussy than normal.  But now his nose is fine and he hasn't been coughing, so who knows.  He was still pretty smiley considering how he seemed to be feeling.  I'm really thinking a tooth might be on the way, though I don't feel any yet.  He's been doing goofy stuff with his tongue a lot lately, almost like he's trying to chew on it or something, and he chews on his fingers more and more, and sometimes he takes his "bink" out and chews on the plastic part.  He's getting so big; I swear every day his legs get chubbier (is that a word??), well not just his legs!!  His whole cute baby body, and that sweet baby face - all of it, CHUBBY  :) 

Ladybug got some more birthday presents (Snug and Peanut got presents too).  Of course as she was taking the super cute clothes out of the gift bag she had very little reaction.  Typical.  However, when we got home this afternoon she had to take all of the clothes out of the bag again.  THIS time she reacted very differently.  She said, and I'm quoting her word for word, "Look at these!  These are just so cute, I can't believe it!  And there's more......look at THESE!  Oh, I will wear my new dress for I go to a party!"  Oh yes, it was cute because of her facial expressions and the tone of her voice.  By the way, the whole weekend she never did come completely out of her shell, so to speak.  She was more on the quiet side.  I say that because at home she literally talks and asks questions and calls my name nearly non-stop all day.  And sure enough, when she woke up in the car today on the way home it was Mommy....mommy.....mommy     questions and more questions and talking and talking away.  She became a little talkative this weekend, but NOTHING like at home :)  The girl can talk!  aye aye aye.....  Good Lord, I wonder if I talked that much when I was 3........or ever!  Probably so. 

Anyway, now that we've arrived back home and all of our "extra sets of hands" from this weekend are about 150 miles away, it's back to reality.  The queens won't have all that constant one on one attention they loved so much for two days straight :)  And mommy goes back on duty full time.  No more nannies (our two nieces) to occupy the girls all day......     Now it's back to reality:  one mommy + 3 kids ages 3 and under = mommy doesn't have enough hands.   hahaha!   As Ladybug likes to say when something really stumps her: "Oh no mommy, what can we do?"   Well, since I can't grow extra hands I'll just do what I can.  Heck, 3 kids is nothing compared to all the huge families out there with 10 or more kids.  I'm just being dramatic.  Life is definitely good.  Crazy and good.

Venting about drugs

Right now Peanut is at a 3 hour visit with his mom.  We really feel like she's going to "step up her game" so to speak, now that there's only 6 weeks to go before DCS could try and terminate her rights.  We're thinking her days of missing and cancelling visits are over, again, because time is getting short for her. It would be great for her if she could overcome her addiction and clean up her life, but as advocates for this baby we are looking at the whole picture here and we have concerns;  that she'll do just what it takes to get him back, and as time goes on she'll fall back into drugs. ( I believe her history of drug use goes back about 10 years ) 

I'm not sure of the actual numbers, but the relapse rate for this particular drug is really high (Ladybug and Snuggle Bug's case manager told us that a long time ago) and that just plain scares us.  Fighting a drug addiction, I'm guessing, isn't easy and doesn't pair well with having babies and raising kids!!  Her struggle with drugs is a battle she'll most likely be fighting all her life; there may be times of sobriety, and also times of relapse.  I'm not saying it's impossible to beat addiction - people do recover, thank God.  But addiction is a disease, and will not be cured without on-going treatment; and a lot of hard work no doubt.  (I'm so thankful I do not have this disease)  

I know worrying gets you nowhere, so I'm gonna try and have faith that innocent babies and children never have to pay for the addictions of their parents by being placed in unsafe, unstable environments.  Is that too much to ask? 

Check out these chubby legs - so darn cute!!

just pictures

I like my thumb these days....but I still love my "bink" of course.

I'm laughing at mommy...

The Doctor Is In

Monday was Ladybug's birthday, and Tuesday morning the very first thing she did was go straight to her new doctor's kit and tell me "I will be a doctor now".  She played with it ALL day......and today too, so far.  Of course her most frequent patients are Snuggle Bug and I, but sometimes Peanut too, and Daddy when he gets home.   There is a pair of dull plastic scissors in the kit, and when she's done doing her doctor's exam on me she "cuts" my hair.  I told her that's silly, doctors don't cut people's hair :)  She said "but this doctor does cut hair mommy".  Alright then!  Next time I go to the doctor I think I'll ask her for a cut and highlight!  It could be the next big thing - your annual exam and a makeover, all in one appointment.  Ladybug just might be on to something here.  She's a silly one!

Lately I'm taking tons of pictures, so why not stick 'em on the blog, right?  Here's some more......
( there's 3 pics of Peanut.....he was watching Ladybug dance around and would not take his eyes off of her )

I asked her to make a funny face!

Peanut

Monday hubby and I went to the Family Team Meeting @ DCS for Peanut's case.  His mom and alleged father were there, along with alleged dad's mother, the case manager of course, a DCS district manager, and mom's drug therapist.  Everyone there had the chance to speak freely and honestly, and hubby pretty much started things off with a bang.  After introductions the case manager proposed the question "What would you like to see come out of this meeting / what is your desired outcome of this meeting??"  Mom, alleged father and his mom all said they want "Peanut" to come home as soon as possible.  So foster dad, my dear husband, comes right out with it and tells them how he feels about "Peanut" being placed with her.  That set the whole tone of the meeting.........so if they had any doubts about where we stood with all this I would say they're pretty clear about our feelings now.

Our case manager did a superb job with the meeting; it was very well structured and she was extremely professional.  It's impossible for me to recap the meeting because so much was said in that hour, but I'll just say that mom tried really hard to make a case for herself, to justify her non-compliance the past 5 & a half months.  It's completely mind boggling to us how some people can lie so easily, so convincingly.  She was absolutely 100% adamant that she has not been using drugs, so you can understand then why she was so baffled by the fact that her last two drug screens were positive.  She was insistent that she has not used.  OK, fine; but we would have loved to hear her explain how it is that a person can test positive for a drug they haven't used........hmmmm.   DCS uses a saliva test and it is very sensitive and can detect this drug down to the nanogram......  She was given many opportunities throughout the meeting to own up, to be honest, to admit the truth.  But she would not.  She maintained her innocence. 

After not saying a word the whole time, and listening to so much craziness, I finally had to speak up when she made a derogatory remark about us, the foster parents.  As I was giving her an earful of how I felt about her comment, she would not make eye contact with me, or even look in our direction.  She had her head resting in her hand as she leaned on her elbow, looking down at the table.  This was toward the very end of the meeting and her attitude was not very good by then.  She almost left the meeting at one point. 

So anyway, there is a 6 month review hearing in early July.  The case manager is more than prepared to file for termination due to the fact that she has not proven to the courts or DCS that she will be a fit parent, that Peanut would be in a safe and stable environment.  She has a lot to do in the next 6 weeks.  The uncertainty of the outcome is constantly in the back of our minds.  We don't know what to expect from her, because honestly anything is possible.  It's possible she could progress in a positive direction; or it's possible for the opposite to occur.  Naturally we're trying to stay sane through all this.  Those who know us well know that most days our level of sanity is questionable  :)

This little guy's smiling face brightens our days!!!  God bless this angel baby.

Happy 3rd Birthday To Ladybug

It's hard to believe she's three years old.  We made birthday brownies together today while little sister was at her visit, and after dinner she opened presents and then blew out her candles!  She really seems to like the doctor's kit we gave her.  Lately she's been telling us "I will be a doctor", and she always likes to pretend that she's fixing our boo boos.  Us two old people had been really under the weather for a couple weeks and she would tell us "you need 'mecine' (medicine) - tomorrow you will feel better".  Happy Birthday little Ladybug.  We love you.

Here's some pictures from today...

Max and Ruby (she also got Max and Ruby books and a DVD)

Photos

I took my hands off of him to take a couple pictures, and he stayed sitting up by himself. 

She Oughta Be In Pictures

I must say, Snuggle Bug is one photogenic child.  Check out these random snap-shots.  She's like a baby supermodel or something (just kidding).  But anyway, she was born with it - it's definitely not Maybeline.  While she frustrates us to no end at times, she has come a long way in the past 4 months.  In another 4 months she's sure to make even more strides, with hubby and I old and tattered, gray haired and exhausted trying to keep up with her; with all three.  We are in for a wild ride no doubt.  They say kids keep you young???

The "sleeper" hold??

I do two different stretches to Peanut's neck periodically each day.  One of the stretches got to be a little tricky to do because he gets agitated and tries to fight it, which of course is no good because he needs to be relaxed for the stretch.  So the physical therapist showed me a 'positional hold' that performs the stretch nicely - it's just a sneaky way of doing it because he's just chillin' out while I carry him around like this.  The object of the stretch is for his right ear to touch his right shoulder, basically giving a really good stretch to the muscle on the left side.  That's the muscle that's shortened / tightened causing his head to tilt and pulling his left shoulder up.  He also has a slight case of facial asymmetry because of it. 

When I was doing this positional hold on him this afternoon he fell sound asleep.  I was talking to my dear husband and Peanut's eyelids were getting heavy.  Before too long he was snoring and drooling on my arm :)   He barely batted an eye when I laid him in his crib.  

 Good Lord, he's getting big!!!

Stuff going on lately

Snuggle Bug just left for her first visitation since her mom was released from jail in late April.  The way the visits are set up is a bit more convenient for me - transportation is provided for her, (and for her mom).  The person who picked her up will be supervising the visits.  He seemed like a real nice young guy.  Snuggle Bug actually cried a little when I handed her over to him; she just wasn't so sure about the situation.  But she was fine, she calmed right down and just looked a little uneasy.  I'm confident she'll be fine for the visit.

She also had her evaluation with First Steps yesterday.  I'll be getting a copy of the scores later, but she was delayed in a few areas.  The area they suggest focusing on first is motor skills, and I'm hoping we can just have Peanut's physical therapist do therapy for her also.  She really has no muscle tone, very little core strength at all;  she's literally like a wet noodle.  They observed several things about her like how she walks with a very wide gait, how she picks things up with her hands, her balance......all kinds of stuff.  They spent a lot of time with her one on one.  They feel once her motor skills and core strength are stronger that speech will follow, especially since she's beginning to babble more lately, which is a good sign.  The way explained everything to me really made sense.  She has a hearing screen on June 8th to rule out any hearing issues.

Peanut's therapy is going really well, by the way :)

More green beans please

I am a good eater - I'm so happy mommy's feeding me green beans!.......

.....But I just don't like it when she wipes my mouth!!  She does it every time, and it makes me mad!